Being a Danish Korean

Before living in Vietnam I’ve always felt weird whenever associated with Asian culture and values. Other bloggers have blogged about how they when people wrongly assumed they were Chinese or Japanese in the US. I guess their experience is somewhat different to mine as most of them are Viet Kieu (overseas Vietnamese) and when people wrongly take them for another nationality they’re labelled as belonging to another culture than the one they’re rooted into.

In Denmark most people assume I’m Chinese. I’ve always thought that was rather natural, since China is the world’s most populated nation, but it also made me think how little people know about adoption and where Asians in Denmark actually come from. American friends in Vietnam have asked me about “Asian community in Denmark”, but to my knowledge there are no Asian hoods in Danish cities as most non-Caucasian are from the Middle East or Africa. Where I’m from there are some Vietnamese (without having any statistical background I’d say maybe 100-200), but an Asian community as “China Town” or “Little Saigon” does not exist. Even though Denmark has huge integration problems compared to many other countries it is a fairly homogenous society. I know Danish readers might not agree, but my main subject in this post is not integration of immigrants, but me, the Danish Korean adoptee, currently living in Vietnam, and my view of being an Danish Asian in Denmark and in Asia :)

As far as I know most Asians in Denmark my age group (twenty-something) are in fact children (most of them girls) adopted from Korea. How many? One of the Danish adoption agencies state that from 1970-2005 3118 Korean babies where brought to Denmark to grow up. As there are two major agencies in DK and it’s bloody hard to adopt (lengthy application process and lots of tests) I’d guess the total numbers is roughly 5000 out of a population of 5.5 million people.

I used to be somewhat offended by the assumption that I was Chinese and I always wondered why, since I perceive myself as Danish it shouldn’t really matter whether people label me as being Japanese, Chinese or Korean, but it does. Because even though I, as a Korean adoptee who came to Denmark barely three months old, have no emotional connection to Korean culture or society, I nonetheless am Korean by blood.

I’ve earlier blogged about how tired I am of explaining who and what I am since apparently everything comes down to the colour of your skin and some people almost are offended when I persist on claiming my European (cultural) roots. It’s like I’m abandoning my Asian roots. I’m not – I just never realised I had any besides my looks. But one thing I’ve learned during the past 6 months in Vietnam is being in a group of purely Asian people (who might all have grown up in the Western world), but before coming here I’d never been in a group of all Asian. And I think to some extent I didn’t want to be in an Asian group in Denmark because I was afraid I would be taken for an immigrant (no, I don’t think there something wrong with being an immigrant, but the fact is I’m not one in the typical sense of the word). During my years I don’t know how many people who’ve said to me – “I don’t even think of you as not being white”. To them it was a compliment and I can understand the meaning of that sentence, but somehow there’s also an insult in the words; being white means included, not being white means being excluded. I’m adopted, I’m Asian, but they see me as included.

Here in Vietnam I’ve made Viet Kieu friends, and no to be honest I have not made many purely local friends. But hanging out with Viet Kieus have given me the opportunity to be in group of people looking like me with almond eyes and black shiny hair (or greasy if you use wax). Living in Vietnam has been very different from my previous travels in Asia, in many ways I blend into everyday life ‘cause of my looks and many ways I don’t ‘cause of my Western upbringing. Yesterday sitting in a bar with all Asians, I realised that I felt quite comfortable with me being Asian, them being Asian – I did not feel I had to try to be “more Danish” so that people wouldn’t think I was Asian born and bred. I didn’t even care. I don’t know whether I’ll feel the same when in Denmark again, but I hope so.

Being comfortable in your skin is alpha and omega for allowing yourself to be whoever you are. Being an Asian adoptee in Denmark will probably always bring up some issues, because no matter how much you’re upbringing is Danish, you’re looks and biological roots are not. I don’t have the same cultural roots vested in a “home country” that Viet Kieus have. I cannot go to Korea to find “my roots” in the same way (if at all) since the culture I would meet there would not be one I’d find familiar in any way or identify with. I don’t speak the slightest Korean and I have no desire to learn, but I’ve come to learn that I am in fact Korean, I’ve even been told by American Koreans that I act Korean. I think it always bothered me to be labelled Chinese, because I knew I should take some pride my Korean DNA. Living in Asia has taught me a lot about myself regarding my Asian appearance, the pros and the cons. It has taught me to be proud of my Korean heritage – the heritage that I’ve also claimed I didn’t have. My Korean heritage is my Asian looks and even though it is not WHO I am since you cannot and should not boil an identity down to looks, it is the first thing people do when the meet you. I will always be Danish of heart and mind, but I’m only now learning to be Korean as well : )